Hi, my dear classmates,
The URL below is my job ad.
http://www.techsemiconductor.com/career/jobs/ENMFG0111A-E.htm
The URL below is my job ad.
http://www.techsemiconductor.com/career/jobs/ENMFG0111A-E.htm
My application letter is shown as below. Please kindly take a look and share your comments with me. Thanks.
Feb. 10, 2011
Ms. Tan Ming Hui, Staffing Manager
1 Woodlands Industrial Park D, Street 1,
Dear Ms. Tan,
Application for Manufacturing Engineer in Wafer Fabrication Department
I would like to apply for the position of Manufacturing Engineer in Wafer Fabrication Department (ref. code: ENMFG0111A-E, dated Jan. 6, 2011) which is posted on your company website.I was very excited when I saw this vacant job position with TECH. Meanwhile, after reading through the details about overall introduction of your company’s Profile, Mission Statement, Corporate Values and Milestone as well as the Message from the President Lee Kok Choy—“Develop your Potential to the Fullest”, I was strongly touched and attracted by the company culture.
I am PRC student on the MOE Scholarship Program since Dec.2007 till now. After 2 years’ study at Nanyang Technological University, Singapore, I earned my way up as a top student majoring in Materials Science and Engineering (MSE). Currently, my cumulated Grade Points Average (CGPA)is 4.82 out of 5.0 and I was honored to be on Dean’s List in 2010.
I am a very outgoing and energetic person and I am involved in many extra-curricular activities. For example, I am the Chairperson of Traditional Teakwondo Club in Nanyang Technological University, Singapore, which provided me with a lot of opportunities to develop myself on many skills—Planning and organizing events; Problem solving; Communication and motivation, etc. These experiences are very important to the job position that I am applying for, which requires the same skills that I have gained through managing the Traditional Teakwondo Club in the past 2 years.
I am a hard-working and strong willed person and I am able to work on permanent 12 hours per day or night shift. Based on my previous work experience, I worked very well with a team and have the capability of decision making. Therefore, I believe my education background and skills could assist TECH greatly.
If you have any questions about me and my qualifications, or you would like to schedule an interview, please give me a call at 65-9476-1376. I would welcome the opportunity to talk about ways that I could put my experience and drive to work for you.
Sincerely,
Ella Liu Chang
Enclosed: Resume
Hi Ella,
ReplyDeletePlease upload your job adv so your classmates can better comment on your application letter. You may also like to remove your actual address as that is, afterall, very personal information.
Thank you for your suggestion, Ms Lim. I have done some modification on this blog.
ReplyDeleteElla
Hi Ella,
ReplyDeleteIt would be a good idea to cut and paste the job adv here. That way, you keep your readers on your blog and not redirect them somewhere else on the WWW. You never know, they might never return...
Also, you can then guard against the website taking down the job adv, and readers redirected to a page that no longer exists.
What do you think?
Hi Ella,
ReplyDeleteI have read through your application letter and I believe that with your current skills and qualifications, you are eligible for this job.
However, there are several mistakes that I want to point out.
1) The title for the application letter is missing.
2) 'Wafer Feb Department'? Do you mean Wafer Fabrication Department?
3) company's website, company's culture
4) I was very excited when I saw this vacant job position with TECH.
5) Perhaps you would like to give the full name of PRC.
6) After two years of study at Nanyang Technological University, Singapore, I earned my way up as a top student majoring in Materials Science and Engineering (MSE).
7) 'to develop myself on many skills' Please rephrase this.
Take note that correctness (one of the 7Cs) is very important in crafting a good application letter. Moreover, you should thank the reader at the end of your letter. Do remember the need to be courteous!
In general, I find that there is a good matching of the skills you possess and what the company is looking for. In addition, you would like to further elaborate on how you can contribute to TECH.
Thank you.
Hi, Ms Lim,
ReplyDeleteI have tried to insert the image of my job ad. However, it may cause some internet page error and the image is quite small and not clear. Therefore, I still put the job URL here for you and other classmates reference. Is it Ok?
By the way, thank you for your suggestion.
Cheers~
Ella Liu Chang
Hi, Elaine,
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for your suggestions. It really makes sense for me and I just modified my application according to your suggestions.
Thank again~
Ella Liu Chang
Hi Ella,
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could shorten your first paragraph and make the president's message more prominent as your source of motivation instead of merely listing that you have read the mission statement etc. You could also mention how their mission statement is in line with your career/personal objectives.
Also, you may want to elaborate more on your leadership position and lead it to showcase your decision making skills.
That's about it! :)
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Ella, find out from your classmates how they uploaded the images.
ReplyDeleteI feel that it is also part of the 7Cs (Courtesy and Completeness) to upload your job adv. You want to make it convenient for your readers to comment on your application letter. That's basic courtesy, focusing on your readers, increasing your readers' impression of you and then enhancing your image in return. When they are redirected to another page, they will have to navigate between two pages in order for them to appropriately share relevant comments. That's an additional step for them.
In terms of completeness, in that sense your post would have not provided readers all that they need to know.
What do you think?
One of your classmates' job adv has been removed, and you never know if it could happen to you too.